Black, White and Red
by Ai-Fennec
Summary: Sasori and Deidara are travelling to Konoha to hunt for the Jinchuuriki but there are more twists in their travels and their stay in Konoha than they like to think. WARNINGS: Graphic YAOI. This is a oneshot fanfiction. Review Please!


AN/ This was a roleplay between myself and Katsuya-chan. If you don't like Lemons, then piss off. Half of this was written from 11pm to 2pm. So blegh if its crap.

I play Sasori, in **BOLD font**

Katsuya-chan plays Deidara in normal font.

"It's gonna rain, yeah." The clouds gathered in the azure eyes, as well as in the sky, obscured heavily by the trees. "I don't like it." The boy spoke indignantly, almost childishly. Perhaps if he complained enough, the clouds would disappear. "Danna" He whined, pulling his sleeves straight. "I'm bored..."

**"Shut up and keep moving." Sasori snapped bitterly. His messy auburn hair waved around his blue-grey eyes. Which were beginning to twitch. "You've been complaining for at least 2 hours. And I am REALLY getting bored of it. Jesus, why did I get paired up with you?" He muttered.**

"Yeah, you're so cranky today." Deidara sighed, and waved his hands about to show frustration. "At least I spoke you out of travelling in that giant doll... Ugly and slow, yeah. I mean, Zetsu carrying bodies was faster than you in that thing." His lips pursed in thought suddenly. "Hey, I wonder where Zetsu is now... HIS partner probably said "Yeah, okay, sure. We can stay in an inn overnight. No, of course I don't expect you to keep walking all night in the freezing, ugly rain!" ...Or something, yeah." Deidara was evidently, not a happy bunny.

**"Shut. Up. Stupid clay-moulding idiot." Sasori snapped. "And that 'big doll' is not slow. Quicker than your stupid clay bird." Sasori sneered. His fingers were twitching, itching to curl into fists.**

"My "stupid clay bird" can fly, YEAH!" He ran a hand through his ponytail, growling slightly. "Then again, I wouldn't expect a guy like you to see art, yeah! You see in two dimensions, black, white and red! You're blinded to the glory of the world because you're so jaded, YEAH! You just see sky! Yeah, I see dreams! You just see a bird! I see FUCKING FREEDOM! You just see an explosion! I see beauty!" He panted, his voice was getting gradually louder. "Even Kisame, that great brute, understood my sculptures were important! And you do NOT insult others work, YEAH! I was speaking truth, you travelled about three miles an hour wearing that shell!" He was flushed red, with anger and embarrassment. "Maybe I should get on my "stupid clay bird", yeah, and leave you here! With all the luggage you're too weak to carry, yeah!"

**"SHUT UP!" Sasori dealt Deidara a hefty whack to the scalp with clenched fists. "If you are SO BLOODY CONCERNED ABOUT THE FUCKING RAIN, THEN WE'LL CAMP! Fucking persistent bucket-brain..." Sasori muttered, throwing down his pack in a hissy fit as he set up his tent.**

Deidara grinned. When Sasori told him to "shut up", it meant he had won. "Thanks, danna." He still called Sasori that, even if he couldn't remember why. He dropped the four, FOUR bags onto the ground, and hunted around for some wood that was dry enough to light. His hands moved towards the satchel, he dug out some clay, and started working at it idly.

**Sasori grumbled in reply to Deidara. He sat in front of his tent, and concentrated. Chakra strings wove from his fingertips and clung to the branches of trees. He pulled his arms back, and several bits of dry wood came flying at him. He repeated this until he had enough wood, and then stretched. "Before it rains you need to get a shelter for the fire." He drawled, now considerably calm.**

Deidara smiled serenely, happy his partner wasn't quite so homicidal anymore. "I know, yeah..." He dug in one of the packs, finding a few bricks and a saucepan. This made a suitable shelter, he reckoned. A few sparks to his fingertips lit the tiny pile of wood he had shoved underneath, and the fire sat and crackled happily. The blonde shed his robe, and lay flat on the floor. "Smell that, Sasori-danna. The smell of clouds."

**"Smells damp." Sasori sniffed, and rubbed his nose. "Urgh... Fucking cold..." -sniff- Sasori glared cross-eyed at his nose. "Stop sniffing!" -sniff- Sasori fell backwards, defeated. He looked up at the clouds, dark and grey against the dark purple sky. Beautiful... Sasori was in awe of the moon that peeked from the clouds, making the sky shimmer.**

"It smells of sorrow, yeah. Everyone's sad, because it's going to be frosty tomorrow. Yeah?" He shuffled closer to the other. "Can we share a tent tonight? Yeah, with the cold and all." His eyes glinted.

**"..." Sasori sat up, and rested on his hands. There was one eyebrow raised on his girl-ish face. "Alright. But only when its frosty."**

"Yeah, because otherwise I'm gonna catch a cold. I bet I'll be even more annoying with a stuffy nose, yeah. And, yeah, it'll hinder our travels." Deidara was silent for a few smug seconds. He was proud of himself, using "hinder" in a sentence. "Shame it's cold... such a pretty night, yeah."

**"Hnn." Sasori hugged his knees inside the cloak, and shifted closer to the fire. He sniffed again, rubbing his nose. "Ich."**

Deidara hauled his own coat nearer with his foot, and draped it around the other. "You need it more than me, yeah." He was silent for a few seconds. "Sasori-danna? I'm sorry for insulting your puppet."

**"I'm sorry for insulting your clay bird." Sasori smirked, and snuggled deeper into the two cloaks. "Tche... You look pretty cold. I can almost feel your goose bumps."**

"I'm not that cold, yeah." His voice was convincing. However, Sasori knew how good Deidara was at lying. And his body betrayed him. Deidara sneezed.

**Sasori chuckled. "Come on, lets get into the tent." He shuffled backwards into the canvas tent, and held open the door for his blonde counterpart.**

Deidara giggled, but went in anyway. "What's up with the gentleman act all of a sudden, danna? I'm no blushing maiden, yeah." Well, dressed in a mesh shirt his gender was blatantly obvious, but his light blush came with his giggles. As usual, the headband and hair tie came off before the shoes, taking him a little closer to "blushing maiden".

**Sasori sniffed. "I can be nice sometimes. Unless you want me to be the evil Sasori the whacks you over the head and constantly riles you up." His joints clicked inside his cloak as he stretched. He slotted his arms back into the sleeves, and took off Deidara's cloak, draping it over his shoulders. "You'll need it."**

"Thanks, yeah..." He accepted the extra layer gratefully, but scuttled out of the tent for a few seconds. "Forgot the blankets, yeah." He came back in, a pack gripped in his teeth. He dug out two, and looked hopefully for more. He found two kunai, a train ticket, and a broken piece of clay bird. "Damn, that's it." He pouted. "Gonna be cold tonight, yeah. Feel sorry for the birds."

**Sasori chuckled, and lay down, curling up into his cloak, comfortably. "Pass me one of those blankets." Sasori breathed out, his breath was frosty enough to see it - a white mist that faded almost instantly. Sasori breathed out quickly through his nostrils, and got the same effect. "God, I felt like an ox just then..."**

"An ox? You're weird, danna." Deidara put both sheets on his shoulders, but came and rested his head on the others chest. "Cold, yeah..." His visible eye fluttered shut. Deidara never seemed awkward with these moments of intimacy. Embarrassment was a rare thing for him. Practicality hardly suited the guy, but it was his way of life. He would probably have cuddled up with Orochimaru, if he was cold enough.

**Sasori felt his cheeks go red. He forced down the redness, and wrapped his arms around Deidara in an effort to keep warm. He sighed softly before he closed his blue-grey eyes and dozed off.**

**Sasori woke up. Stretched. Yawned. And then realized how cold it was. "Shiiiiiiiit..." He shivered, and snuggled against Deidara. He then sniffed, and sneezed. He shook his head, and sniffed again. He prodded Deidara's shoulder. "Wake up... Wake up."**

There was a grunt. Deidara buried his head further into Sasori's stomach. "mmtiredtiscoldwannastayherecomfyyeah..." all of this was said into the others navel.

**Sasori groaned. "Get off me..." He contained the giggles that willed in his throat from the ticklish sensation talking in to the navel produces.**

"But... It's too cold, yeah." Deidara nuzzled into the other's chest, curling his legs up to his stomach. "Can we stay here for a bit until the wind calms down at least? Yeah?"

**Sasori's eye twitched, but he sighed in defeat. "Alright... Fine." He rested his arm against Deidara's side, hoping to keep it warm.**

"Mmm..." His eye closed in bliss. Obviously lie-ins were still a treat for assassins. He wrapped his arms around Sasori, inhaled heavily, and then sighed. "Sasori-danna? How old did you say you were?"

**Sasori rose an eyebrow at Deidara. "None of your business." With his spare hand, he ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling it slightly.**

Deidara tutted, pouting in annoyance. "I bet you're about sixteen. Then I can laugh a lot, yeah, because I'm older AND taller than you." Deidara was, indeed, going to be rubbing those two inches in Sasori's face till Akatsuki fell apart. Or Sasori got elevator boots. Deidara's left hand moved to Sasori's stomach, groping for something warmer than the other's ice-cold hand. He tried hard not to grimace as he felt the wood beneath the shirt.

**Sasori looked down at the mass of blonde hair snuggled into his chest. The ghost of a smile on his dusky pink lips, he wrapped his arms around his counterpart, not replying to Deidara.**

Deidara lay in the comfortable silence. He knew conversation was his job, but it didn't make it any easier.

**A few minutes later, the wind had calmed considerably. "Come on, up. The wind's calmed down, so you have no more excuses." Sasori brushed Deidara off him and crawled out of the tent, stretching quickly before buttoning up the neck of his cloak and waiting for Deidara.**

Deidara groaned, fixing his hair as quickly as possible. He blinked a lot, shaking his head to wake himself up. His left hand spat out some very watery clay. He refastened his robe, and started packing the bags again. "Sasori-danna? Come here a sec, yeah."

**Sasori tutted, and rolled his eyes. "What?" He bent down and peered through the tent.**

Deidara licked his lips briefly, leant towards the other, and kissed Sasori quickly. "Thanks for letting me laze about, yeah." He turned back to folding blankets without so much as a blush.

**Sasori fell backwards. He blinked, then picked himself up, choosing not to say anything about the kiss. He fought down the red-hot blush, but was still pink.**

Deidara was obviously finished, as he came out of the tent. He was wearing three of the six bags they were travelling with. He kept his eyes shut demurely, and looked up under his eyelashes at Sasori. He met the others eye, and making sure that he was watching his tongue drew across his lips again, a lot slower this time. He winked, and picked up the rest of the bags.

**"I'll carry those." Sasori mumbled, taking three bags off of Deidara and slinging them onto his back. "Come on. We're almost at the Fire Country borders."**

Deidara grinned. Mumbling was a step away from gibbering like a fool. "You're such a bitch, Sasori-danna." He giggled, tossing his ponytail about. He picked up the other three bags, wore one and carried two. "You can't travel like that. You'll be worn out pretty soon, yeah."

**Sasori's eyes twitched, and he half-glared at Deidara. He carried two, and wore one, like Deidara. He held out a hand, motioning for Deidara to lead the way.**

Deidara sighed. There was that silence again. It was a stupid idea, kissing him like that. Such cheap ploys only worked on Itachi, he thought wearily. He began walking, and was sure to listen for creaks or badly silenced moans. So he could turn around, screech "AHAAA!" and be glared at a lot. Well, the weather was improving at least. The sun was nearly visible through cloud.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, following Deidara's path. After a few steps he got bored and began mimicking Deidara's steps and actions.**

Deidara was already bored beyond belief, so he was predictably moulding a little clay something. This meant he would have barely noticed Naruto running past wearing a plush fox suit, or even maybe the Spanish Inquisitition. So Sasori's actions went ignored, sadly. Deidara was humming a tune lightly to himself, and it was obvious he was so serene with the world at that one second he could have burst into song and dance. But as he was Deidara, he squished his clay robin and started working on something a lot pointier.

**Sasori got bored of mimicking Deidara, and decided to creep up on him. He extended his neck, and his head hovered above Deidara's shoulders. He pulled a vampiric face and made a long, throaty gurgling noise into Deidara's ear.**

Deidara reacted like a true member of akatsuki. He didn't jump, instead he punched his attacker right in the stomach, whipped a kunai out of his sleeve, and spun around.

"EEK!"

He bashed Sasori over the head, in a casual kind of way. "What the hell was that for, yeah?"

**"I'm bored. Are you sure your knuckles dont hurt?" Sasori was smirking. He kept on walking, his eyes rolling.**

"Yeah, I'm bored too." Deidara's knuckles did indeed sting a bit, but he kept this fact to himself. "Look." He held out his palm. This time, he had chewed away a small, clay scorpion. It was glaring, and...Seemingly wearing a partyhat.

**Sasori pulled a face at Deidara. "Is that meant to be funny?"**

"...Yeah. He was throwing a party in my mouth."

**Sasori glared at Deidara, his eyebrow twitching. He turned round, and started walking, sinking his head into his cloak to hide his blush.**

"Anyone would think you were ashamed of me, Sasori-danna!" Deidara laughed again, and began chewing the little scorpion down again. "It's gonna be a damn boring journey to Leaf, yeah."

**Sasori's mouth twitched, and he slowed his walking, until he was walking next to Deidara. His arms shot out, and pinned Deidara's arms above his head on a tree. "Then how about we make it not such a boring journey... hmm?" He suddenly seemed taller as he extended his legs. His nose pressed against Deidara's, and he licked his lips before he kissed Deidara softly.**

Deidara's eyes widened slightly at the contact, but he gladly kissed back. Only now did a faint blush paint across his cheeks, and he tilted his head slightly, opening his mouth slightly. His right hand gripped Sasori's shirt tight. He moaned softly.

**Sasori chuckled into the kiss, his blue-grey eyes meeting Deidara's azure. He closed them again, and his tongue slipped into Deidara's mouth, licking at the tip of Deidara's tongue. Then there was a soft rustle of tree branches. Sasori pulled back, releasing Deidara.**

"**Fucking hell – ANBU? Shit…" Sasori growled. He tugged on one of Deidara's wrists, pulling him along into a run.**

Deidara wasn't really flustered by the masked wankers appearance. He seemed a lot more angry, if anything. "Bastards, yeah!" He spat, easily overtaking Sasori's panicked running. He reached into his robe. The ANBU was seemingly unhurt by a clay robin exploding in his face. "Damn it, I suck with kunai..." He simply ran faster.

**Sasori sped up, in a desperate attempt to catch up with Deidara. Now I regret not exercising... As he made a jump for a tree, he was hit by a rookie ANBU. He was bowled over, and the cloak was thrown off him. Sasori jumped up, the claws on his back springing to life and gutting the masked man. He ran, not bothering for his cloak, throwing his arms behind him and jumping up into trees.**

Deidara had two simple options- help, or run for it. He chose the latter, of course. He ran as fast as he could back, and hid (He could only hope) in some trees. He dug into his bag, found some clay, and started forming the familiar shapes of spiders. He peered through the foliage, to check his danna was alright.

**A kunai somewhat magically appear from nowhere, and was used to slash the oncoming ANBU. Blood splattered Sasori's wooden limbs, and ANBU fell back before jumping back in again to attack. Sasori was slowly loosing energy, and was beginning to falter. Hey, even puppets get tired.**

Deidara sighed. He took aim, and threw his little works of art into the unknown. "DOWN, DANNA!" he yelled... The explosives seemed to travel in slow motion, legs scrabbling. Three of the four landed, the other missed totally and went sailing off into the forest. But they landed, and the bang of smoke and spatters of blood as usual brought a large smile to the blonde's face. One ANBU was still standing, if bleeding a lot. Deidara started running. As a long range attacker, it would be stupid to stay still and reveal his whereabouts.

**Sasori ducked, falling off the branch with the force of the explosions. He threw the kunai at the ANBU, and it went straight through his skull. The ANBU fell, and the mask shattered. Sasori stepped forwards, and kicked the ANBU over to inspect his face. "Pathetic." Sasori muttered. He sighed, and began walking on towards Leaf. "I need to wash."**

"Why's that, yeah? Do you sweat?" Deidara asked without thinking. He walked towards the smaller, idly.

His face froze. "Oh crap! Sorry-danna-yeah-I wasn't thinking-yeah-I'm sorry Yeeeaaaah." He babbled, looking terrified.

**"No. I'm covered in blood, you complete null-brain." Grumbled Sasori, shaking out his joints. He gave a blank look to Deidara, then looked back towards the path. "I have no idea what you are babbling on about, but you better stop before I find something to shove into your mouth and then back up through your ass."**

Deidara snorted. He dropped his voice to a low, silky murmur. "Bring it, yeah." He winked again.

**"Its not working, whatever you are trying." Sasori drawled. "And by the way, I was serious."**

Deidara burst out laughing. "You can't BE serious." He ran a few steps, waving his arms dizzily. "Stupid Konoha. If Itachi and Kisame couldn't fight him, yeah, how the hell are we meant to stand up against him? It's truly stupid, yeah."

**Sasori clicked his tongue. "Because Itachi and Kisame have different fighting styles. We may be his weak point. We know that he can't fight long ranged attacks, so that would be you, and since I don't feel pain, that's another bonus." He sniffed, rubbing his nose. "We need to get into a henge soon. I say common people, so we don't need to give in a mission scroll."**

"Damn." Deidara pouted. But the hand seals left him in a rather eye catching, turquoise shirt (like Kimimaro's but GAY ; ) and some skin tight black pants. He sighed, remembering the luggage. "You too, yeah..."

**Snorting at Deidara's choice of clothing, he made some hand seals, and was suddenly thinner, with grey-white hair hanging over his eyes. With baggy, crumpled once-white clothing, he just looked like a hard-done-by traveller.**

Deidara giggled. "Should I go oiroke?"

**"I really don't care." Sasori grumbled. He coughed, then made a small rasping noise, evidently getting into character.**

Deidara shrugged, and started walking again. "Zetsu-chan generally did when we had to stop in inns. Stopped people asking questions, yeah..."

**"That's because Zetsu is a seven-foot high bit of foliage. But I would suggest henge-ing out the scope. Stops people getting suspicious."**

Deidara sighed again, but pressed his hands together. A poof of smoke, and he looked pretty damn normal. Without thinking, he removed his headband. Hair fell into his eyes instantly. "Don't say a word, yeah..." He did his best to retie his hair into a regular ponytail. The result was a bored looking blonde... Um, person carrying too many bags.

**Snorting in amusement, Sasori looked ahead. "We can almost see the gates from here. The gates, and then the Kyuubi."**

"Oh good, you don't need a shower anymore, yeah?" Deidara didn't seem even vaguely interested in the prospect of nine tails.

**Sasori rolled his eyes. "Yes, I do still need a shower. I might not be bloodstained now, but I've henge-d that off. Unfortunately, I'll have to cope with it until we've tracked down the Jinchuuriki and made a reservation at an inn."**

"Urgh, a reservation, yeah?" Deidara sounded so BORED by the whole thing. "Can't I just henge myself into a pregnant woman and say WE NEED BEDS URGENTLY or something, yeah?"

**"I am not pretending to have impregnated a woman, alright? And I'm not turning myself into a sister, daughter, relation, friend o a pregnant woman or ANYTHING. End of story. We are going to make a civilized reservation. Without yelling. Yes?"**

Deidara pouted. "Dannaaaa You're no fun, yeah! Zetsu was a pregnant woman. He just had to yell every few minutes and people kept coming in and giving us CAKE, yeah!" It was obvious from the glint in his eyes cake was worth actual pregnancy. "You're doing all the talking here, yeah."

**Sasori snorted. "Of course I am. And to be quite honest, I don't like cake. Or sweets." Sasori sniffed, and then sneezed, adding a rasp. "Sometimes have a cold is a good thing." He chuckled to himself randomly, their walking taking them closer to the gates.**

"You don't like CAKE? Damn, Sasori-danna, you are truly weird, yeah." Deidara was getting quieter and quieter as they drew closer.

**"No, I dont like cake. And how does that make me in any way weird? Zetsu eats people. Kisame shaves people. Itachi rapes people. They apparently aren't weird."**

"But, yeah, CAKE. Ita-san likes cake. Zetsu-chan likes cake. Kisa-kun likes cake. And you don't, so you're weird."

**Sasori huffed dejectedly. "Whatever, Deidara." Finally at the gates, Sasori walked straight through towards the high street. "Inn reservation first!"**

"...Yeah." Deidara followed him meekly.

**"What's up with you all of a sudden? You were loud and complaining about how weird I was." Sasori rolled his eyes, looking out for inns.**

"I dunno… I'm kinda... Yeah, danna..."

**"Yeah meaning what?"**

Deidara took a step closer. He looked about shiftily (rather stupid, as no one here knew him), and leant towards Sasori. He whispered as quietly as possible, "I'm a bit scared, yeah." He blushed guiltily. "Is that stupid, danna?"

**"Not really. We'll leave if anything gets iffy, alright?" Sasori poked Deidara in the ribs in a way he hoped was reassuringly.**

Deidara's wide smile was back. "Yeah... Can we just ask someone where the inn is?"

**"There's one alittle way along here." He pointed ahead at an oddly painted sign with 'INN' scrawled in kanji over it.**

Deidara walked towards it, smile still plastered on his lips. So this was Konoha, huh? Sure was pretty. If kinda simple. The interior of the inns foyer was painted a dull, cheery peach. A bored looking girl snapped her gum at them. Deidara glanced at Sasori, obviously sticking to "I'm not saying anything, yeah."

**Sasori rolled his eyes, and walked towards the small, wooden desk-y-counter thing. There was a blonde haired woman behind it, obviously bored out of her mind and paying no heed to Sasori. "Excuse me..." She fell off her chair. Sasori winced, and rose an eyebrow. "We would like to make a reservation for tonight, please." The blonde woman looked alarmed for a millisecond before she handed him some keys. "Your room is upstairs, second door on the left." She sighed, and went back to staring into nowhere. Sasori rolled his eyes, making his way up the stairs and following the woman's directions. The second door was slightly battered, but Sasori shrugged, and opened it. He dumped his three bags beside a dresser before making a quick examination of the room. Double bed and a bathroom.**

Deidara beamed. "Awesome, yeah." He threw the bags off, and ran straight at the bed. It tossed him into the air. "WHOA! YEAH! GREAT BED, YEAH!" The beautifully folded sheets hung around in a mess, and the pillows fell off. Deidara, noticing his partners odd looks towards him, stood up from the tangled duvet, and with all dignity ignored, burst out laughing.

**Sasori shook his head and rolled his eyes at Deidara. "You've trashed the bed, and a minute hasnt even passed."**

"Yeah, now we can do our job."

**"Yep. Come on, we just needed to drop off our bags. We'll come back here later, we need to look for the jinchuuriki first. Then you can trash up the rest of the room and put it back together again."**

"YAY!" That was no word. Deidara just squeaked.

**"Strange. Come on, you exploding puffball." Sasori pocketed the keys, and began to make his way down the stairs again, waiting at the door for Deidara. The highstreet was too busy a place to wait.**

Deidara followed in an odd lolloppy way. He was still grinning, it was quite unsettling. "So we just walk around until we find a foxy blonde, yeah?"

**"Yep." Sasori stepped out onto the highstreet, then decided that jumping using the tops of buildings would be so much easier. So he jumped, and landed on the roof of the inn. He gave a quick look around the highstreet, but didnt see any blonde's or sense the immense chakra that belonged to the Kyuubi. "Or rather, jump around. Come on." Jumping to the next roof, he gave another quick look. Nothing.**

Deidara LIKED jumping. Next to flirting, clay and the funky coat, the jumping was his favourite part of this job. The closest to flying he would ever get, so he appreciated it. He seperated from Sasori to check in the other direction, but all the blonde he could see was his ponytail overhead, and many girls.

**Sasori sniffed, and then sneezed. "Hey, Deidara! You go and check in the opposite direction to me. Send a chakra signal if you find him." Sasori jumped, to the next building, scouted in both directions, and then began to run along the rooftops, searching for the chakra of the Jinchuuriki.**

Deidara growled. Five whole minutes of jumping, and every blonde had either been too old or too female. His life was wasting away! He was going in circles! He kept thinking about sex with Itachi! ...Well, he was pretty pissed, anyway. Ooh, a dango store.

**Sasori sat on the room of the Ramen bar, thoroughly pissed. The blond idiotic Kyuubi-brat wasn't ANYWHERE. He sighed, and dropped down from the roof, deciding to eat some ramen. There was a pink-haired girl chattering with another blonde-haired girl. There was a large boy beside the blonde, who was alternating between potato chips and Ramen. Sasori sighed, and ordered a Miso ramen as he sat.**

Deidara liked dango. Well, he had had a lot of Itachis. So he sure was pleased to get some cheap. The lady behind the counter even called him "hun". It was a nice place, he reckoned. Despite the little girl in pink watching him. He took a seat and started eating. He hoped Sasori didn't find him, and even more that the girl would go away.

**The pink girl suddenly changed her subject from make-up and flowers and other girly crap, to her most recently mission. Sasori hadnt been paying attention until then, when he heard the word 'Naruto' in her scentence. He smirked as he began to slowly scoop noodles into his mouth, listening for the right moment to butt into their conversation.**

Deidara slurped his tea. Now there was a small, blushing girl watching him as well. Did he look suspicious? He waved at the two cheerily, and they ducked behind menus. He was bored. So he thought it would be a good idea to leave. He'd stick to the streets this time, pretend to look for Sasori. He wandered off down a side alley, humming.

**As the two girls paused in their conversation, giggling, he lifted his head from his bowl. "I couldnt help but notice that you were talking about an old friend of mine - Naruto. I was just passing through, and I wanted to know wether he was in the village or not. It would be good to catch up." The blonde was still giggling. "You'll probably find him in the woods... sparring... hee...hehe..."**

All these stupid sidestreets looked the same! He'd been walking for at least four minutes now. He wasn't lost, he was just confused. Honestly. He doubted Sasori was doing any better. Goddamnit, this was ridiculous.

**Sasori nodded thanks to the two girls, smiling and cocking his head to one side. Leaving his money on the counter, he started to make his way towards the woods. He passed by Deidara's side street, and rolled his eyes. "Hoi! Come on, I've got a location."**

"Yeah, I'm not lost." The first words to leave his lips. God DAMNIT.

**"Yes you are. Come on." Sasori waved a hand towards Deidara, beckoning him. He jogged lightly along the rooftops before he came to the woods. He could sense the red chakra - faintly. He smirked, hopping onto one of the branches. Concentrating, he found the location. "This way!"**

Deidara's fear was back. And his mind was stuck on sexy Itachi again. But he followed his danna obediently. "Yeah."

**Sniffing, Sasori jumped through the trees silently, leaving a faint chakra trail for Deidara to follow if he got lost. Sasori found the source of the red chakra, and his eye twitched. 'This is awkward.' Naruto was currently pinned against a tree, by none other than the younger Uchiha, Sasuke. 'I wonder what Itachi would think if he knew his little brother was screwing the Kyuubi?'**

"Let's go and say hi, yeah..." Deidara giggled helplessly. "Try something like: "Hello Naruto! Hey Sasuke, your brother said to get a haircut."... Yeaaaah!"

**"You can do that, and I'm going to watch." Sasori muttered, smirking. He sat down on a tree branch, and watched Sasuke and Naruto, chuckling softly to himself.**

Deidara sighed. "Should we wait for him to stop, yeah? And then we attack?" Behind them, Sasuke was stripping Naruto of his pants.

**"I very much doubt that will be very soon, really." Sasori was holding back his grin, getting it into a twisted smile. "This really is quite amusing, actually. I vote sticking around, watching and then laughing our heads off while watching them go red."**

"I could draw us up some score cards for when they finish?" Deidara snorted, and tried to calm down his giggles. He was failing.

**"Indeed. We could be like judges. And you have so much personal experience as uke, I'm sure you'll be able to rate Naruto. Did you know that Kisame has taped all the stuff you've done with Itachi?" Sasori was watching Sasuke thrust into Naruto against the tree, and snorting. "I really think that Sasuke should be uke though, considering his name."**

"Yeah... I don't think uke is a very measurable thing from this distance... You just gotta lie there, pant a lot, and look cute, yeah." Deidara giggled. "He's not really cute, he's screaming a lot."

**"Exactly Deduct points for that. Sasuke is partly uke-ish, considering he is doing most of the panting and moaning while Naruto is just screaming. And that isnt what you did in half the tapes with Itachi." Sasori was thinking a seven for Sasuke at this point in time.**

Deidara shrugged. "Yeah, Naruto's a four at the moment..."

**Sasori winced. "Messy at the end. A final six for Sasuke. Could you make a card, please?"**

Deidara had paper in his satchel. He drew out a marker pen, and handed both to Sasori. The two boys stopped thrashing about. Naruto stood up, pulled up his pants, and punched Sasuke in the face. Sasuke hit the boy in the stomach. They both fell over into the grass.

**"You shouldn't be trying to knock each other out, you stupid bastards!" Sasori yelled, shaking his fist. He scrawled a '6' on one card, and '4' on another. He handed the 4 card to Deidara, and held up his 6. "Very messily finished off, Sasuke." The two had knocked each other out, therefore, didn't hear him. Sasori rolled his eyes, tucking the card into his pocket. "Lets get going - to the inn we go." Sasori grumbled, jumping back through the trees and onto the building-tops. He jumped back to the inn, and dropped into the foyer, waiting for Deidara. **

Deidara had alot of trouble following, but he didn't take too long. He landed on the pavement with a slight bang, and walked calmly into the inn. "Let's go trash the room!"

**"YOU can go trash the room. I need a shower." He trudged up the stairs, and opened the door, leaving it open for Deidara. He went straight through to the bathroom, taking off his henge, he turned on the small knob for the shower, rubbing the blood off his oaken surface.**

Deidara bounced on the bed a little, but paused to henge back to his usual outfit. He removed the coat and lay back on the mattress, sighing.

**Once finished, Sasori came through, stretching his arms back and cranking them at inhumane angles. He sat beside Deidara on the bed, grabbing a towel from the floor and towelling himself dry.**

Deidara smiled lightly, eyes still closed. "Yeah, I'm glad we're here. And not being killed by a tubby blonde kid."

**"Hnn. Well, its good to know that he's happy, at least. Maybe we could say that he wasn't around. We hung around for three months, and then when he came back got our asses kicked. Itachi and Kisame weren't yelled at and didn't have deadly things thrown at them... Maybe we wont either."**

"That's a very good point, danna. Ita-san's reason was "things got too boring". Kisa-kun says a great big pervert in sandals sealed them in a frogs belly, un! I think they got lost on the way here, got really stoned and just think they fought him, yeah." Deidara smirked. "But we are lacking Ita-san's authority."

**"What makes Itachi so special? He's one of the only survivors of the Uchiha clan, yeah. He has powerful eyes, yeah. But what gives him authority?" Sasori was suddenly in a sour mood. He leant back, curling ontop of the thick duvet.**

"We're all scared of him." Deidara said this very lightly. It was obvious to him, this was an accepted and proven fact.

**Sasori snorted, then sneezed. There wasnt really much difference between the noise that was made. He sighed, changing his angle on the bed and lying next to Deidara.**

Deidara opened his eyes, and looked at Sasori with reverence. "Stupid ANBU, yeah..." He licked his lips and made a face.

**"Hnn. How about we finished what we started...?" Sasori was suddenly ontop of Deidara, his legs trapping Deidara's between them. Sasori smirked, moistening his lips with his tongue before he leaned down and kissed Deidara.**

Deidara was now a very happy blonde indeed. He kissed back softly, eyes firmly closed. His left hand reached for Sasori's hip, and his right went up the others shirt. His handmouths were drooling, but the tongues stayed away for some reason. He bit Sasori's lower lip gently.

**Licking Deidara's bottom lip, and hand trailed down Deidara's shirt, toying with the edged of Deidara's trousers, his fingers tickling the skin.**

Deidara moaned at the fleeting touches to his stomach. He purred, low in his throat, and thrust shallowly towards the other. He hoped the message was kind of clear. His left hand was tugging uselessly at Sasori's shirt. He shook his head, shaking blonde strands out of his vision. Pulling away from now swollen lips, he kissed a soft trail down the others neck.

**Sasori trailed his hand under Deidara's shirt, making it ride up. Sasori pulled back, and pulled the shirt over Deidara's head. He partly leant against Deidara's side, and bit his collar bone, sucking and biting until he created a small mark. He smirked, and trailed his hand back down to Deidara's trousers, tugging softly.**

Deidara should have blushed, and looked demure. Instead, he just smirked. Deidara batted the others hands away, and pretty much tore Sasori's shirt off. He grinned again. And leant forward for another kiss. This time, Deidara pushed past Sasori's lips with force, enjoying hovering over his danna. His hands clawed up the others side, frantic, near desperate for the feel of skin on skin. Or as close to it as he could get.

**Sasori bit back a moan, his tongue seemingly dancing the tango with Deidara's. He tugged at Deidara's trousers, rubbing small circles at the flesh beneath and above the material. He made his fingers walk across Deidara's abdomen, skipping and ghosting along each different part of Deidara's stomach and chest.**

Deidara grit his teeth. His nails were raking at Sasori's back lightly. His other hand seemed quite happy to stay on Sasori's ass. Not really groping. Just being.

**Sasori broke away from the kiss, biting and nipping a trail from Deidara's lips, down his jugular, and down his chest. He left a trail of tiny red marks to his abdomen, and then nipped all the way back up again before he sucked on Deidara's earlobe.**

Deidara hissed as there was wet breathing against his ear. It was obvious from his small whimper he liked that a lot. He writhed a little. Deidara's face was blushed a dark red, his eyes glazed over. His tongue groggily licked the taste of the other from his lips. The blonde sighed cutely, and hooked his legs on the others hips. Straddling Sasori (head tilted oh so slightly to keep the wonderful sensations coming from his ear), he lay both hands flat on the wooden chest. Their pants made a painful barrier as Deidara pushed their hips together once more, longing for more.

**Sasori chuckled, and tugged down his trousers, kicking them off the bed. He sat up, grinding his hips against Deidara's, licking along Deidara's jaw line as he groped at Deidara. He bit at Deidara's jugular, softly at first, and then harder. He moaned softly, his breath tickling the sensitive hairs on Deidara's neck.**

Deidara unzipped his pants with shaky hands, peeling the black material down his thighs as quickly as he could. He pulled away briefly, but only for the instance it took to shed the leggings. He wrapped an arm around his lover, stroking his scalp. His blush was getting deeper. "Dannaa Please..." Deidara's tone was lust and desperation combined.

**Sasori chuckled, running his fingers down Deidara's spine. He licked softly at Deidara's earlobe, his fingers drifting back down to tickle at the edges of Deidara's boxers, tugging at the material and rubbing at the soft skin underneath.**

Deidara let a loud "aaah" pass his lips. He was sweating too much, and it was only making him hotter. He wanted more, more anything, but he was kind of frozen, waiting eagerly for Sasori's fingers to do something a bit more useful.

**Sasori's fingers trailed to the front of Deidara's arousal, and tickled it. Sasori claimed Deidara's lips, sucking softly, nibbling and licking. He held Deidara in place with his spare hand, trailing it up and down his spine, picking softly at the skin with his nails.**

Deidara should have screamed. Or breathed out a "yeah". But he didn't. He gasped softly, and closed his eyes. He was all too happy to have Sasori fooling about with tiny, butterfly kisses. "Dannaa" He breathed out again, tightening his grip on Sasori's hair, the other hand stroked his face in awe, nails leaving small white scratch marks on perfect, prominent cheekbones. He rolled his hips, and moaned again.

**Clawing off Deidara's boxers, he tickled his arousal again, this time all the way along it. He chuckled, and with his spare hand pulled off his own shorts. He rested his nose into the crook of Deidara's neck, biting softly. "How much do you want to, Dei-chan... hnn?"**

Deidara exhaled another "a", and looked through his eyelashes at the other. "God, yeah... You still have to ask that? Danna, Sasori-kun, just, argh, yeah..." he pushed his hair out of his face and poked Sasori in the shoulder. "A whole lot, yeah."

**"How much is a whole lot, hnn?" Sasori teased, leaning up and tracing Deidara's lips with his tongue before nibbling on his bottom lip.**

"Sasori-danna...I..." Deidara's voice was cracking and dying. "Arrgh, yeah..." He writhed a little, the sweet torment getting a bit more than he could handle. "Just, yeah... I want it."

**"How much, Dei-chan?" Sasori purred, a soft growl bubbling in his voice box. "I'm not starting until you say how much you want it... hnn..." He chuckled softly, licking Deidara's ear.**

Deidara sighed again. Sweat was dripping into his eyes, plastering his hair to his face. "I don't know, yeah... I want it as much as I want you, Sasori-danna." His voice was shaking. His blue eyes looked up again, and his lips formed that word again. "Please?"

**"Good, Dei-chan..." Sasori chuckled, and pushed Deidara backwards, and rolled him over, so that Deidara's back was facing the ceiling. Sasori smirked, and bent, and ran his tongue along Deidara's spine, then back down again. He nuzzled at Deidara's inner thighs, working his way up before he started nipping at the pale-ish flesh. He purred softly, running a hand towards Deidara's hole, tickling.**

Deidara stared into the mattress, trembling with anticipation. He wished Sasori's touches weren't so feathered, but then the fingers would move again and Deidara would fall in love with them all over again. "Yeah, you don't have to do that..." He moaned, feeling the others attentions shift to his ass.

**Sasori smirked, running his fingers along Deidara's spine, than back again, rubbing all the right places. "If I dont have to..." He swung Deidara up, and sat him on his erection. He softly pressed on Deidara's hips, pushing him on softly. He bit back his groans, panting.**

Deidara ignored Sasori's attempts at gentleness, and pushed himself down as hard as he could. And screamed. His eyes teared up, but he was smiling wide enough to split his face. He gasped, getting his breath back. Then he tensed his calf muscles and started moving. He moaned again, nails digging hard into his palms.

**Sasori chuckled, and kissed Deidara softly, his soft moans contorting into a laugh of some form. He rubbed Deidara's hips, nuzzling the crook of his neck.**

Deidara was rocking back and forth,ignoring the burning strain in his legs. What was puzzling him, however, was how Sasori stayed so sane during sex. Damnit, he was laughing. Deidara slammed himself down as hard as he could, biting his lip open in the process.

**"Ahh.. hah..." Sasori licked the blood away from Deidara's lip. "Ah... hahah... Dei-chan... does it hurt too much?" He growled, rocking into Deidara softly.**

Deidara wrapped his legs around Sasori's hips, and pulled him on top. Deidara now lying on the bed hooked his ankles over the others shoulders, repositioning himself carefully. "Giving myself cramp like that, yeah... Easier like this, yeah..."

**Sasori rocked back and forth into Deidara. He only managed to surpress some of the first few moans, and the rest flooded out freely. He dug his fingernails into Deidara's hips, gripping hard enough to bruise.**

Deidara was just gone now, too far gone, too far away. His eyes were clamped shut, and he was muttering praises to a bunch of gods Sasori hadn't heard of. Sweat was building up in puddles on the planes of his torso, and around his eyes. His hair was an unkempt mess, and his lips were swollen and bleeding. Suddenly, the lips started forming recognizable shapes. "Yeah, I guess now is a good time to say this kinda thing, yeah?" He panted, rocking his hips in response to Sasori's rhythm. "Yeah, I love you, you bastard."

**Sasori grinned, leaning forwards and kissing Deidara, licking his lips and delving his tongue into the hot cavern that was Deidara's mouth.**

Deidara responded in kind, massaging against the warm pressure between his lips. He sucked lightly at Sasori's tongue, but then pushed his mouth away and lay on his back again. "Finish it, yeah?" He grinned wickedly.

**"Hnn..." He ran soft, feathery touches along Deidara's erection as he sped up his thrusts, panting and moaning.**

Deidara was a million miles away, so absorbed in rapture. Reality seemed to be a daydream he dabbled in and out of lightly, like water beneath his feet on a boat... He was light, he was dark. He was anywhere, he was everywhere. He was fucking happy. Sasori had found his sweet spot.

**Sasori's hand tightened around Deidara, and screamed, moaned and gasped softly as he came, the edges of his vision going black, white and red.**

Deidara released slowly, mumbling more nonsense. He was nearly crying, and it was obvious from his face he didn't know why. He sat up, and quite gladly clung to the other.

He sighed, but then giggled mercilessly. "You get a 9."

**Sasori was panting, but grinning. "You're off the fucking scale."**

Deidara kissed him sweetly on the cheek. "Sure I am, danna. It's just your orgasm talking, yeah. I'm going to sleep."

**"Hnn." Sasori snuggled up beside Deidara, burying his nose into the blonde locks. "And I'll lie here somewhat innocently."**

Deidara tutted. "If you keep me up all night I want tomorrow in bed, yeah."

**Sasori chuckled, and kissed Deidara. "Yeah, you wish. I'm not too cruel - I'm not going to keep you up all night. I'll just keep you up all night tomorrow."**

Deidara pouted. "Awwww... Can we have tomorrow off anyway? Please?"

**"I did say I wasn't cruel. Sure we can, Dei-chan."**

AN/ Hope you enjoyed it!


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